The Secrets to Happiness

I don’t believe that we were created to just simply exist.

I believe we were created to live.

Not just to amble along, but to experience life to the full.

I think the main thing that people search for in this life is happiness. If you ask parents what they want most for their children, most of the time their answer is “For them to be happy.” It is a simple desire, and yet so many of us struggle to hold onto it. We go searching for it in its many forms.

We convince ourselves that more money will make us happy, shopping will make us happy, our homes and our possessions will make us happy. All these different ways we try to buy our happiness.
We also convince ourselves that the future will make us happy. We keep looking forward to what’s happening at the weekend, or next month, or next year. We have become a generation that always wants more. We are not satisfied any longer with what we have in front of us. Our eyes are always looking around to what everyone else has. Always looking ahead to the future instead of the present. We are constantly looking to find the next best thing, the next fresh idea, constantly comparing.  And even if we get what we want and we get that rush of excitement and pride, it never lasts long. Eventually it loses its charm. It isn’t new anymore. It’s become normal and mundane. So once again our eyes dart around for the next thing.

I am still young, and I have a lot left to learn over the course of my life. But even though I am young, I have come to realise three things when it comes to “happiness:”

1. I had to stop counting down for the next best thing in my calendar, waiting for tomorrow.

Before Jonny and I got married, we were given a lot of advice. One piece of advice in particular stood out to me. I was told to keep taking moments throughout our wedding day to stop and look around. To enjoy what was going on around me, be in the moment. Otherwise the day would speed through and it would be over before I knew it. I made sure I did that, and sure enough the day didn’t whizz past at all! It slowed my day right down and I remember so many details! Not long after, I went out for lunch with one of my friends and told her about this. I told her that it had made me realise I didn’t want to spend my life looking forward to the “next thing.” I didn’t want to spend my week wishing for the weekend, or my year wishing for my next holiday or the next social event. Life went too quickly if I did that and I was at risk of missing the best moments of my life that were happening now! Instead, I wanted to appreciate and enjoy every moment of every day and be completely present! I wanted to notice what I had and make the most of it, and since doing that, it started slowing my life right down! That is when I started to understand what really mattered in life, and what truly brought real joy.

2) I had to stop looking at what everyone else had and wanting more.

Instead I had to actually look at what and who I had in my life and appreciate it all! It’s easy to be jealous of what other people have but I had a clear choice. I could look at other people’s relationships, experiences and abilities and be envious of them, or I could realise that perhaps they had it because they worked hard to get it that way. Maybe the reason those people who had friends who would do anything for them was because they loved and put time into those friends. Maybe those people who are incredibly talented got there because they practiced and made a heck of a lot of mistakes in the process. They knew what they had, loved what they had, cared for what they had, and now they were reaping the benefits.

3) We can’t buy happiness.

We will never experience happiness if we always focus on what we don’t have and give into this need of wanting more. Not the happiness we’re looking for anyway. Yes we can buy a temporary version of it, but it never lasts long. I’m not talking about that kind of happiness. I’m talking about something deeper. I’m talking about a happiness that brings contentment, purpose and a joy that does last. That is what we really desire. And I believe it is attainable. What’s more, I believe I have it.
The secrets to happiness. The key to unlocking those secrets was right in front of me the entire time, and the same is true for you. I believe the answer lies right underneath your nose. It does not come in many forms, but in three.
The key is this: The things that bring real joy aren’t the things we buy, but are in fact the things that are already freely given to us!

  
1. Our relationships 

 2. Our dreams and talents inside us

 3. The beautiful world around us 

I know it is easy to look at these three points and roll our eyes. It sounds so obvious. Or we can read it and think, “What good will that do?” But once we give the time to understand their significance and what they actually mean to us, they can give us real meaning and purpose!
Once I knew what I had and who I had and made sure I loved and enjoyed it all, appreciated it all, made the most of it all, something shifted. I can genuinely say that I am content and experiencing a life of adventure with people I love all around me. And the wonderful thing about it is that every single one of these gifts are attainable for everyone. They are all things we naturally possess.
And unlike the other things we mentioned before, each of these three gifts have the potential to give us the long lasting happiness we are searching for because they are not superficial! They are deeper and more fulfilling than anything we can buy and they are freely given to us by someone who created us to enjoy them. Half of the reason we exist is because we are created to love and enjoy them and when we do, they can give us life to the full. These are what I believe are the secrets to true happiness. We just need to appreciate them and put the work in!

I do also believe there is a fourth secret, but I will share that towards the end of the series. Over the next month or so I want to go into more detail on how to make the most of each one in order to change our lives for the better. But just to finish, there is a famous quote that says,

“You get out what you put in.”

Everything starts off small, but if we look after these things and put time and effort into them, we get out what we put in. If you want stronger relationships, they take more care. If you want to grow your talents, they take more practice. We need to stop looking at everything else around us, and start noticing what is right in front of us.When we stop looking at the future, or what everyone else has or what we don’t have, and start making the most out of what we actually do have, it becomes beautiful and more fulfilling than you ever thought possible. We start to experience a real joy that overwhelms us and actually lasts! The key isn’t to get more. The key is to know what has already been given to us and put more into that! The key is to be thankful.