So here we are, nearly 6 weeks into lockdown, and it doesn’t look like much is going to change any time soon. We are in such a horrendous time where people we love are hurting and the amount of people we are losing is staggering. I would just like to take a moment to thank all the people who are still working over Covid-19. You are amazing. Another hard – although not as hard – thing about this pandemic is lockdown itself. One thing that is certain is that lots of people are all dealing with lockdown in different ways. For me personally, I’ve been okay. It’s been hard at times, but I have found a couple of strategies that have helped me through this weird, crazy time in our history. So I thought I’d share some of those things that have helped me through. A lot of it seems so obvious, and I know that we can tend to switch off when things seem obvious. But I have often found that it isn’t knowing what to do that is the problem, but it is putting that into practice. The first three nuggets have come from the bible, as the bible is an amazing source of advice and life.

1) What are you thankful for?
Myself and Jonny walked up a mini mountain called Rest Dodd a year or so ago. As we drove up, we saw a massive cloud covering the top of it, but we’d driven all that way and it seemed fine. It probably wasn’t the wisest decision we ever made. The weather was absolutely awful. The rain was relentless and soaked all the way through our waterproof clothes, and the wind was so strong I could barely stay upright. We had to keep our hoods secured to our heads or our hats whipped right off.

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Safe to say, we didn’t make it all the way to the top, but unfortunately, we had given it a good go. We were hungry, wet and freezing cold, and the journey down seemed never ending. Getting to the car had never seemed like such a wonderful idea and we were over the moon when we got there. We dried off and changed into our spare clothes, turned the heating on in the car and ate the last few snacks we had left. I remember saying to Jonny that I had never appreciated shelter, warmth and food as much as I did in that moment. Such luxuries are things I took for granted most of the time. The same can be said for most things we have in our life. We can become so used to them we forget about them. It can be easy to look at what we don’t have sometimes instead of what we do, and lockdown definitely has a way of highlighting that. But the thing is, when we get into this mind set, it is never going to help. It is never going to make us feel good. Perhaps resentful, but never happy. In truth, the times where I have felt lowest was when I thought about what I was missing out on. That I couldn’t see people, that I missed going out, that I couldn’t go on holiday.
But when I have taken this solid advice and talked to my husband Jonny about what I’m thankful for – what we do have – and focused on that, taken a different perspective, it has shifted my whole mood. We have much to be grateful for. Even just the fact we are warm or have somewhere to sleep, or can see or hear or taste, or that we wake up healthy. It is not something to take for granted. There is so much to be thankful about the world we live in, especially when we find out things like how our sun is just the right distance from the sun otherwise life couldn’t exist or that if we were to read the 3 billion character DNA in just one little cell in our bodies, it would be 6 feet long and would take 96 years just to read the description of us. It is amazing! Through lockdown we have had sunshine to brighten up our day and it has happened over Spring which has made the world around us so beautiful.

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Instead of thinking that lockdown is time away from people, it can actually be seen as precious time with family. It can be seen as more time to video call friends or more time to try things we didn’t have time to try before. It’s a change of perspective. What do we have? I believe our time on earth isn’t meant to just be about survival, but of abundance and blessing. However, unless we properly recognise what we’ve been given, we won’t be able to experience that life. Thankfulness is not a one- time thing, it is a lifestyle, and that takes practice. We have to be purposeful about it.

2) Get connected.
It can be really hard to do this one. I know a lot of people that have felt anxiety about this and I know for myself there have been a lot of times when I just didn’t want to. But I know when joy and energy are zapped from us, it is often the things that help us that are the last things we want to do. Instead, we do nothing and then feel guilty for doing nothing. I had a day like this, and forced myself to attend a ‘cuppa and catch up’ session my uni was holding. I had no intention of turning my mic or camera on. I was only there to hear any updates. However I found myself typing messages to people and joining in, and as soon as the session was over, I suddenly had a burst of energy. Usually, phoning someone feels like an effort, but when I get off the phone with them, I feel so much better in myself and closer to them. The bible says that we are to love one another and build each other up, encourage each other. Why? Because when we love people and help people, it brings us joy! For this one I would even go as far as to say, no matter what we’re feeling, push through. We can’t let our feelings allow us to alienate ourselves. We were not created to be alone. We are meant to be part of a community, a family. We need each other the most in this time, not our crazy thoughts.

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3) What is truth?
Which leads me to my next point. Lockdown has given us all a lot of thinking time, and if you’re anything like me, your mind has the habit of wandering and makes a lot of assumptions. Our feelings can get in the way and lead us to believe things. But feelings are not truth. Feelings are up and down and all over the place. They are not a reliable source of information. And yet we let our feelings determine what we believe so much, which means that we can believe a lot of lies, particularly about ourselves and other people. One example of this could be that if no one’s contacting us for a little while, no one cares. We are all alone. The truth is however, that we are all sat at home thinking this, and people have got so much on their plate that either they’re just trying to get through the day or have anxiety about calling anyone. It is not because you do not matter to them. That is not truth. It is a lie we are believing because of our feelings, because we have had too much thinking time. The next strategy and piece of advice from the bible then is that it is important to make sure we are reading truth every day. It is an important ability to be able to identify things that we believe about ourselves and others and determine whether they are lies or truth. And if there are any lies we are believing, to write down the truth instead and read it as often as we need to until it sticks in our heads. It has been an amazing way to combat thinking. It takes time, but it’s worth it. For me personally, oh my days I could not have gotten through this without God. I have needed to read the truth about who I am and who He is and how He dealt with stuff every morning to start my day. There are some great sources of truth in the bible. I have needed to remember that real love is not that people love us, but that we love them. That instead of thinking about how I am so lonely and no one is contacting me, I can realise that the people I love feel the same way, and that I can be the person that helps them remember that they are cared about. They are supported. Instead of thinking that I am worthless, I can remember that that someone went to great lengths to have me in their lives, that I am beautifully and wonderfully made and that I am not a mistake but that I am here for a purpose, especially now during this pandemic. This is truth for us all.  

4) Keep some routine.
A more practical point, but a helpful one. From day one, I knew if I didn’t do this, all the days would merge into one. Specifically, I made sure my week days felt different to my weekends. There were specific things I tried to do each day during the week, particularly setting aside a couple of hours to work so that I achieved something each week and kept purpose in my life. However, I kept the weekends free, or had some combination of days off. Sometimes those days off needed to happen in the middle of the week because I woke up with no intentions of doing anything, and that’s okay. They’re not things to feel guilty about. I love a good ‘do nothing day.’ They have been so necessary. But so have the week days. So has routine.
One thing I would suggest, try and go for a walk every day. Most of the time, I never feel like going. But when I do, I never regret it. Fresh air is so good for us and it’s good to get out the house, have a bit of exercise.

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These are just a few of the things that have helped me. I hope you find them helpful and they make your lockdown life a more pleasant thing to experience. I hope your life becomes about living again, and not just surviving, and lastly, I pray that we will VERY soon see the end of Covid-19.

Way back in February,  I started this series and said that there was a fourth secret to happiness.
Not everyone will agree with me on this one, but that’s okay. I’m simply sharing how it’s inspired me and given me joy in nearly every situation I face, both good and bad. And that’s my relationship with Jesus.

The questions or statements that I hear a lot are;

How? How does religion bring you happiness?

Surely you’re just following a bunch of rules? That’s the opposite of freedom. That’s living with restrictions right?

I guess my answer to that is it all comes down to understanding and perspective.

Perspective is one of the reasons why Christianity has got itself a bad name. God has been given a really bad reputation. Take “sin,” for example. Most of my friends have the perspective that God has given us a big “don’t do this” list and if we do any of it, God is angry and we are bad people. It’s seen as judgemental and restrictive. Plus most of the stuff on that list seems harmless. It’s all a bit of fun. It’s just following your feelings. God is just being harsh for the sake of it. He’s a kill joy.

However, that’s not who God is to me or how I view “sin.” That’s not my perspective.
Some of you reading this may be parents or know parents at least. When you raise your children, you don’t say to your babies or toddlers, “do whatever feels good. Do whatever makes you happy.” If you do that, you’re going to have children putting all sorts in their mouth, running out into roads, snatching and pushing each other, climbing whatever they can get their hands on, jumping off of whatever they can climb, touching things that can hurt them and all the rest. As a parent, you put rules in place to keep your children safe. Yes they are curious and they love to explore, and they will explore, but within the boundaries that keep them safe! Because currently, they are not the best judges of character of what is good and safe and what will harm them. They don’t know the different between right and wrong yet and they never will unless you teach them. If children misbehave, they are spoken to. There are consequences because how else will they learn? Within the rules and boundaries that are put in place for them, your children thrive and grow and develop in a way that is safe and good, and they get to live their best lives.

This is what kind of parent our God is that I’ve come to know. And the stuff we label as sin isn’t actually as harmless as people think. In fact it can be harmful. We may not be children and therefore know the difference between right and wrong. However, that is before our feelings come into play. Unfortunately, we are heavily influenced by our feelings. We may know something is wrong, but if we want it, we follow our feelings and damn the consequences. We go against common sense because our feelings are too overwhelming. Ultimately, following feelings is all well and good until it is at the expense of others. Until we hurt people.
Sin usually hurts us and others around us. God knows this, and that is why he hates sin. That is why he puts boundaries in place. Your child may really feel like touching that iron. But you’re not going to let them do it! And you certainly don’t see a parent stopping their child from touching an iron and say to them, “Why are you restricting them?” God gives us boundaries because he has our best interests at heart and he loves us. He doesn’t want us to hurt other people, and he wants us to be good and safe and live life to the full. He wants the best for us. He’s a good father. That is the real Christian perspective. That is the real God.

So that explains why he has put boundaries in place, but still, how is my faith a secret to happiness? Because God doesn’t take away everything. Instead He gives me everything! I don’t feel as though I live my life following rules. In fact it’s the complete opposite. The bible says Jesus came to bring life and life to the full. John 10:10. That is exactly how it feels. I feel as though I live my life to the full. But how does He do this?

1) By giving us a joy that lasts, even when we don’t “feel” happy.
I’m not talking about the feeling of happiness. It is something else entirely. And it comes from knowing who God is, what he’s done for us and remembering all that he’s promised us. I have gone through some really tough things in my life that have really tested me. Things that had the potential to send me under. I have been both the person that has hurt someone and the someone who has been hurt and it has been horrendous. But in those times, I (eventually) trusted in the God I knew and spent time with Him. I reminded myself who He was. That I had the God who created the universe on my side. This powerful God who happened to adore me had my back and more importantly had me! And if that was the case, what did I have to fear? I was completely safe and in good hands.

And the more I spent time with Him and remembered who He was, He reminded me of who I am. Sometimes it can be easy to lose yourself when times are overwhelming. It’s always good to have a voice there to remind you of who you really are. He also reminded me of His promise that everything was going to be okay. That my situation is temporary compared to the good future he has in store for me which is very, very permanent. A sad story is more bearable if you know it has a happy ending. People can keep going when they know what they’re moving towards. Looking forward to the future is not a bad thing. It can bring you hope and perseverance in a seemingly hopeless situation. I’m not denying that. However, it does not mean you can’t find joy now in the present. You will miss out on life if your mind lives in the future, because there are blessings in our lives today. This was another thing that happened when I spent time with God. The more I remembered who He is, the more He reminded me what He’d given me. He reopened my eyes to the blessings around me, who I had and what I had, which leads me to my next point. Another way God gives us life to the full.

2) By filling our lives with good things.
He’s given us our talents and dreams inside of us, the people we love beside us and the beautiful world around us! What this whole series has been about, the other three secrets to life… He gave them to us to bring us happiness. He didn’t create us to be slaves or mindless robots. He created us to love us as his children – to be our Father – and one of the ways he does this is by giving us things to make us happy. We love giving our children gifts and seeing their reactions… same thing.
What’s more, like I’ve said all the way through this series, he has freely given them to us. There’s no catch. They are not things we have to buy. They are not things only other people have. They are not things that are in our past or things we have to wait for in the future. He freely gives them to us now. To enjoy now because He loves us. He’s filled our lives with good things. Things that will bring us real and true happiness.

3) By encouraging us to do good!

“Half of the reason we exist is because we are created to love and enjoy them…”

The Secrets to Happiness.
tiffanyjadedotblog

Half of the reason. The other half that brings us happiness and one of my main points from this post is that we were created to love other people extravagantly!
The bible tells us that all God’s commands can be summed up in this one commandment.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind… and love your neighbour as you love yourself.

Matthew 22:37- 39

He encourages us to love people! The bible is full of advice of how to love people best! And again, he doesn’t ask us to do it because it’s a boring thing to do. He knows that it brings us joy! He knows it will make us happy. It does something to us. We always feel something different when we watch people go out of their way for someone else. When someone surprises someone that they love. When we watch a little child share their sweets and toys When we hear about the soldiers who gave their lives for their friends and country. Some people get really excited when giving gifts or doing something kind for someone else because they can’t wait to see their reaction. Can’t wait to make them happy. It feels good to do good for other people. I want to talk more about this so I will do a post specifically about this. But doing good for other people is what I believe to be the other half of why we were created. It’s built into us, to love each other and take care of each other. If we can do this, if we can start to think of others instead of ourselves, we again unlock another area of joy that fills our lives entirely.

God has been seriously misrepresented. He is not a kill joy. He brings joy! He is not sat there waiting for us to trip up and judge us, He is a good Father who loves us and wants us to know Him.
So if the reason people think being a Christian is boring or bad is because we miss out on things and just follow a set of rules, that couldn’t be further from the truth. He doesn’t restrict my life. He adds to my life. He is my life. My present is full of good things and good people, and I have a relationship with a God who loves me and has my best interests at heart, who also protects me from hurting myself and others. He gives me life to the full.
If you’ve read this and want to know more about it, here is a link to a post I wrote in April that can give you that. https://tiffanyjade.blog/2019/04/21/what-is-easter-really-about/

But this is where my “be thankful for what you have” message ends! I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope it has opened your eyes to all the good stuff that is around you. I hope you’ve been inspired to hang out more with the amazing people in your life, or been inspired to explore more of this beautiful world we live in, or challenged to go for it with your dreams and talents, not caring about what everyone else thinks or comparing it to what they have. You don’t need to look anywhere other than what you have in the here and now. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it. Happy watering.

The Secrets to Happiness
https://tiffanyjade.blog/2019/02/22/the-secrets-to-happiness/

The First Key to Happiness
https://tiffanyjade.blog/2019/03/30/the-first-key-to-happiness/

The Second Key to Happiness
https://tiffanyjade.blog/2019/05/07/the-second-key-to-happiness/

The Third Key to Happiness
https://tiffanyjade.blog/2019/08/15/the-third-key-to-happiness/

My message is simple this time. Get outside!

Why?

Three reasons.

1) It chills us out!

Our lives can get so busy that sometimes we forget to just stop, breathe and take a look at the world around us. We forget to enjoy nature, culture, the sounds, the smells, the sights, which – when you do stop – can actually be quite beautiful.

There have been so many times where I have been worried about a situation or over stressed from work or angry from some sort of disagreement that I have just needed to get out and clear my head. It’s absolutely incredible how quickly all those toxic feelings disappear as you walk through somewhere like a park and simply look at the scenery around you.

There’s something about going out and exploring that is so therapeutic. It clears your mind, gives you space to think and reminds you that the world is a lot bigger and more beautiful than your problems. It just makes you feel better! Additionally to this, walking around makes us more active and therefore healthier, and exercise is not only good for our bodies, it makes us feel happier too. It can physically change our mood. So if you are feeling worried, stressed, annoyed or anxious about anything, I would advise you to find somewhere cool to explore and take your mind off of it for a while. Free therapy is always a win.

2) It improves our social life.

My husband Jonny and I are youth workers in Manchester. Roughly every year we take our young people to a Christian festival during the Summer. For five days, they have to adjust to a life without 24/7 social media and actually start chatting to each other. And what happens over those five days is beautiful. You watch these kids go from near enough silently staring at their phones to talking and laughing with each other, playing games, giving each other banter and forming genuine friendships. I am not one who is against technology. I can 100% see the benefits of having it. However, I do believe that using it too much can rob us of building relationships. It’s a great method of communication, but not when it is literally replacing communication! Or any interaction for that matter.

One of the things Jonny and I decided to do this year was climb a mountain once a month. Now we have not achieved that by any stretch of the imagination. But we have gone on more walks, and on the months where we do make it out (and up) it has been amazing for us. It has given us the space to catch up and chat and dream together. We end up having conversations that don’t usually take place because we have made time for each other to do something together outside. There are no distractions. Just the beautiful world around us.

One time, we went to somewhere called ‘Waterfalls Trail,’ and found a waterfall that we could actually go behind. We’d never done that before and I haven’t found anything like it since so far. It was stunning. Really cool.

This also happens when we go on holiday. One of our favourite things to do together is travel. See new places and explore together because it’s an adventure. Shared experiences give you something to talk about and remember. And the thing about nature and culture is it’s something to be shared.

It’s the same with my friends. Sometimes we all decide to go somewhere together and explore, and that is where some of the best memories are made. It’s a chance to put down everything else in your life that has taken center stage for a while, and actually focus on each other, doing something fun and therapeutic. You sometimes end up learning things about each other that you never knew and have the opportunity to do things together that you wouldn’t usually get to do. All other distractions are stripped away and you’re left with the space to talk and experience an adventure together. Seen as it’s Summer, whether it’s a spontaneous holiday or road trip or even a walk, why not put the phones away for a bit, plan to explore somewhere with your friends or family and just see what memories you can make?

3) It helps you become thankful.

When people try to describe me in one word, usually I get something along the lines of joyful. “Tiffany, you’re always so happy. You’re always smiling.” Now although it is not true that I am always happy, it is true that I am mostly happy. Why? I am joyful because I am thankful! And being thankful is something I have learnt to be. I have learnt to look at what I have instead of what other people have and be grateful for it. And one of the things that I am hugely thankful for is the world around me! Like I mentioned in, ‘The Secrets to Happiness,’ it can be so easy to look at what everyone else has and suddenly become very aware of what we don’t have. But this – I believe – is where the problem lies. It lies in where we are looking. The truth is we all have reasons to be thankful. And very simply, the world around us is one of those reasons. Being aware of the different cultures and natural wonders of the world changes your perspective.

Noticing how beautiful the trees become in autumn or when it’s snowed. Walking through forests or woods or hiking up a mountain and witnessing breath taking views from the top. Taking a boat ride and becoming overwhelmed at how blue and how big the sea is and how many cool creatures live there. Checking out different cities and different cultures and trying different food, listening to different music, speaking different languages. Falling in love with animals, some of which might fall in love with you.

There is so much to be in awe of. There is so much to be thankful for. At the end of the day, it’s all about perspective. We can believe we have nothing to be thankful for, but in fact we have a whole landscape of things to be thankful for. And it is all available to us all. They are freely given gifts for us to experience whenever we are ready. Sometimes you just need to get out and see what’s around you. Sometimes you just need to step out of the door.

I genuinely believe the world is a gift to us. To sit at home and never explore it is like being given an amazing present that you open but never use. It just sits in the box getting dusty. You’re not getting the most out of it. In order to experience some genuine happiness, we need to learn to make the most out of this gift! We need to learn to get out and explore! Put down your busy schedule for a moment and enjoy life. Bring people with you. Get outside, find those experiences and make memories.

On the 5^th January this year, my cousin told me she was considering doing the Manchester Marathon. A few minutes of messages back and forth, I then received a message saying, “7^th April… I just booked it!!! I feel sick.”

She told me she instantly regretted her decision and all the doubts started to creep in. She had run 13.1 miles before so this meant she was literally doubling what she had ever done before. But there was no going back now, and she had 3 months to train.

We are a generation that absolutely loves watching people use their talents. Just take a look at the crowds at the Olympics or any sporting event. See the level of support in any talent show such as ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ or ‘Britain’s got Talent.’ Take a look at cooking programmes, matches, gigs, shows, races. We love seeing people excel at what they’re good at. For some of us, it even makes us quite emotional to see someone do what they love. When we watch people use their gifts, we are watching them become completely vulnerable in front of us. They might make mistakes. They might get criticised, and yet they are allowing us to see a part of who they are anyway. When we watch others who have worked hard achieve their dreams, it does something to us emotionally. It inspires us and it fills us with joy. And that is just by watching other people! There is nothing quite like the sense of achievement we feel when we reach our own goals and achieve our dreams. It is breath taking. It gives us a boost for life and a feeling that we can do anything, that we are doing what we were meant to do. I think a reason for this is because our talents are a massive part of who we are and I genuinely believe that it is a massive reason why we were created in the first place. Our talents play a massive role in our purpose here, and therefore a massive role in our happiness.

So why do some of us find it so hard to do what we love? If there are inspiring people around us, why do we find it so hard to step out? I believe that once again, the answer lies in where we are looking.

The past
Bad past experiences can have a massive impact of whether we use our talents or not. Some of us did try and step out. Some of us did make ourselves vulnerable in front of people, did expose who we were and we got burnt. We made mistakes, we endured negative opinions and we retreated. We have grown up believing that mistakes are bad and that our value comes from the approval of others. So with humiliation and potential rejection as our experience of stepping out, why would we want to put ourselves out there again?

The future
For some people nothing bad has happened yet, and therefore we would like it to stay that way. Sometimes it is down to fear of the unknown. Fear of failure.  Maybe you’ve given different things a go in private but after a few attempts you realise you’re not “very good.” Because of this, you assume that’s just not your thing and move on. Or maybe you haven’t even got as far as trying because you’re too scared you’ll look like an idiot… that you’ll find something else you can’t do. If you don’t use it, no one can touch it. If you don’t try anything, there is zero chance of making any mistakes. Again, it is that fear of being vulnerable.

I don’t know your past and the extent of how that has affected you. I also don’t know the level of anxiety you feel about failure. But I do know that when it comes to these first two barriers, they are usually very closely interlinked with this final barrier.   

The opinions of others

‘If you had asked me what I loved doing, I would of said dancing… I loved to dance when I was younger.  I danced all the time, anywhere and everywhere, getting involved in anything that I could. But if you asked me if I was dancing now, my answer would have been no. And the reason for this is quite simple. I cared too much about what people thought.
I don’t think I’m alone in that…
The thing about our talents is that they are a little part of who we are. They are precious to us because not only are we good at them, we enjoy them. So if anyone were to reject our talents, they would be rejecting us. We don’t want people to think that we are not good enough at our talents because that’s the thing we’re good at. So if people think we are not good at that, then what are we good at? We tell ourselves, ‘nothing.’ So to prevent this, we take our talents, the things we’re good at, the things we enjoy, and we hide them away because we are afraid of the world’s opinion.’

‘It’s Time for the Deep End’ – tiffanyjadedotblog

No one wants to be made fun of, rejected or laughed at. None of us want to feel inferior to someone else or shown up. To be made to feel that we are not good enough. It’s humiliating. Mistakes are embarrassing, and so we try to avoid that. But the problem we start to face is that by avoiding stepping out, we begin to let people control what we do or don’t do. And if our talents are a part of who we are and things we genuinely enjoy, then there is a whole part of living that we are missing out on. I didn’t touch dance for 7 years. My fear stole away 7 years of what I loved because that is what fear does. It is a thief that steals our joy.

I like the idea of being brave. If you tell a child that they have been brave, you will almost definitely see how proud they are of themselves. But what is it to be brave?

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela

So many people think that the definition of courage if that you aren’t afraid of anything. But that is not courage. Nelson Mandela is saying that true bravery comes when you are afraid of something, and yet you do it anyway! It is not a feeling, but an action. I have often used this quote to inspire young people to face the unknown because it is important to me for them to understand that being afraid doesn’t make them weak, but in fact can be the very thing that makes them strong. When we step out with our talents, we are closer to understanding real joy than we realised. The deep end is where we find real adventure. Where we learn more about ourselves and life than we ever could from playing it safe.
What is fear at the end of the day?
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
The opinions of others are false evidence. Why? Because opinions are subjective. They’re inconsistent, unreliable and unsteady. Sometimes people are for you and sometimes they’re against you, and if we base our identity and belief of who we are on such an unstable foundation, we will never be able to grow. The reality of the situation is it doesn’t matter what people think. If we are to experience true happiness, we cannot let fear confine us.

It is the same with mistakes. We have grown up teaching ourselves that mistakes are bad. But in reality, mistakes are nothing to be afraid of! Mistakes are the lessons we need to take in order to learn. Find out what works and what doesn’t? You live and learn. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing! Why should we let mistakes prevent us from growing? When it comes to our talents and doing what we enjoy, we cannot afford to be held back by our own insecurities formed by our past or future. We cannot afford to be held back by the opinions of others because opinions are not truth! Why should we let others steal our happiness? Why should we let them determine what we can or can’t do?

When I realised this, it freed me. Freed me to do what I loved again without the weight of other’s opinions. Instead of looking at people with similar talents and seeing them as competitors, I saw them as inspirations. If they had got to where they are through hard work, I had to put the work in too if I wanted to be as good. If I gave up, how could I ever achieve my dreams? We were different. I was me and they were them, and both were beautiful. We all brought something different to the table.” In the brilliant film, ‘Eddie the Eagle,’ a man is told time and time again that he would never be an Olympian. But he defied all odds and did it anyway, because he realised, “Only you can hold yourself back.”

“A true Olympian is not just about a God given skill set. It’s about never giving up no matter what.”  

Eddie the Eagle (Film)

A life of adventure
In her 3 months of preparation, my cousin faced an injury and many struggles along the way. But on the 7^th April, she ran her marathon. She ran 26 miles in 4:38. I have never been so proud of her in my life. The support in Manchester was amazing. Crowds filled the streets, thousands of people cheering on complete strangers. It is true that you shouldn’t let people control your life, but a lot of the time when you step out, people end up being more supportive than you thought they’d be. After her race, she told us she would never do anything like that again. I laughed and told her that was a load of rubbish. She had the bug for running and it was only a matter of time before she signed up for another race. And guess what? On the 10th April she had signed up for next years Manchester Marathon! The realisation of what she’d done had sunk in and this time she didn’t just want to complete the race. She wanted to beat her time. She is an inspiration to so many of us now because she is someone who faced her fear of failure and overcame it. She didn’t just dip her toe into the deep end. She dived in and now she is one of the 1% in the UK that has competed in a marathon.

There are other barriers to why we don’t do what we love. Whether that be due to lack of time, energy, inspiration or motivation. If you want to read more about them or go into more depth about what I have written about today, then you can read both, ‘It’s time for the deep end,’ and ‘Finding what you love,’ on my blog page. But to round this up, my advice would be to stop looking at your past, or at the future, or at everyone else around you, and instead look at the gifts you have been given yourself. Take them and run with them. Make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes. Grow. Achieve. You be you and live your best life. Be thankful. Be happy. Adventure starts today.

What is Easter really about?

When it comes to the Easter story, I think a large proportion of people have heard the gist of it. We know there’s a guy called Jesus and He died on a cross. It’s a very strange concept when you think about it and some of you might be curious as to why we celebrate someone dying?
A man called James Bryan Smith writes in one of his books,

“They say all musicals can be broken down into ‘boy meets girls, boy loses girl, boy gets girl.’ What if you isolated one section, ‘boy loses girl’ and tried to explain the whole story with that single episode? Our understanding would be limited and distorted.”

James Bryan Smith

The same is true for the Easter story. We may not have heard the whole story – just parts – and therefore our understanding of it is limited. When taken out of context, of corse it sounds weird and pointless. Why do Christians celebrate Jesus dying on the cross? What is the whole story here? As it is Easter, I want to have a go at sharing the whole story.

In the beginning…
There was God and nothing else. So God decided to create the world and everything in it – and out of it. Could He have done that with a big bang? Maybe?
But despite how extravagant and beautiful the world was, it wasn’t enough for Him. So He created us. Why? To be His servants? To mindlessly be under His control?

1. Why are we here?

No. The very reason we exist is because God created us to love us. He created us to be His children and have a relationship with us. What do good parents do for their children? They take care of them, protect them, provide for them, give them lots of good gifts and love them with everything they have. And all they desire in return is for their children to love them back, be thankful and listen to them.

This is the reason we exist. Not to be slaves, but to be loved. He gave us everything! First of all He gave us Himself… to love us, protect us and provide for us. And on top of that He gave us our friends and family, our talents, the beautiful world around us, all for us to enjoy. Why? Because we are His children. And all He wanted in return was us, to love Him and each other. He didn’t decide to control us like puppets on a string. But instead He chose to give us our own free will and make our own choices. He wanted us to CHOOSE to love Him. Why would he do this? He is an incredibly powerful creator of the universe and we are a tiny species in comparison. So why would He create us to love us? The answer is this. Because His love is just as incredible as His power, and He wanted to pour it out on His children, on us.

He’s not just a powerful king, He’s a good King and we were special to Him. We are enough for Him.

But we are quite a forgetful species, and eventually we forgot who God was and what He’d given. So we turned our backs on Him and started trying to do things our own way. However, no one is perfect and we all started getting things wrong, hurting other people and ourselves.

2. What went wrong?

This is the part of the story that is hard to accept for most people. Because this is where we have to see ourselves as the ones who messed up, and we don’t like doing that. We like to defend ourselves. But we can’t deny that this world is not messed up! Betrayal, insulting, fighting, stealing, slavery, discrimination, cheating, lying, deceiving, hurting, abuse, murder, etc. This is what Christians refer to as sin. And whether we play a “small” part in that or a big part in that, we play a part none the less. We’ve all made mistakes. No one is perfect.

Here it’s important we remember that God is good! In fact He is so good and so holy that He can’t physically be around sin. He HATES it! So the more we sinned, the more we separated ourselves from Him. This is where people think God can sound extreme. He’s obviously not a good God if He didn’t accept us as we are? If He expected us to be perfect?
But you see the reason we were separated from God is because He IS good. If you buy some new white trainers and then walk in the mud and stain them, they are no longer white trainers. They’re stained. If our good God accepted the wrong stuff we do – stuff that hurts us and other people – how can He still be good? He couldn’t. He’d be blemished. Therefore in order to be good He can’t accept anything less. You might hear some people saying that He accepts it all because he loves us. But the fact He loves us is the very reason He can’t accept it. On the contrary, He HATES it because He knows the damage and the hurt it causes to everyone and everything it touches. Sin destroys people lives!

What He hated the most though, was that it took us away from Him. When we chose to go our own way, that meant a life – and an eternity after life – without our Creator. You need to be perfect to get to Heaven, so us trying to get to Heaven on our own was like people trying to jump to the moon. Some people jump as high as they can, some don’t try at all, but whatever the effort, no one is going to make it to the moon without someone taking them there. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t earn our way to heaven. We could try to be good but we would never be perfect. We weren’t going to make it.

So if this is the case, then surely everything we have heard about God being an angry God and judging everyone is true? Right? Wrong. Because the story didn’t end there.
If you read the bible, you see time and time again that our King constantly kept trying to make a way back to him. In fact, the bible is FULL of stories of God making a way back to Him, finally resulting in Him coming down and saving us Himself.

3. Why would he save us?

Jesus emptied Himself of all his glory and came down to our broken world in order to save us, to make a way back for us. He suffered some of the most inhumane brutality in history, ending with His death on the cross. Just watch ‘The Passion of Christ’ if you want an idea of what that looks like. He took the punishment that was coming for us so that we didn’t have to. Anything and everything that you and I have ever done or will do wrong, He took the punishment for it to clear our name, so we could be innocent again and able to come back to Him. He gave us a fresh start. A clean slate. The second Jesus muttered those words, “It is finished,” he made it possible for us to go to Heaven and have a relationship with him again

But why? If He hated sin, why would He do that? The answer is simply this. Yes He hated sin, but He loved us more! We are His children and He didn’t want to be separated from us. He wanted us home! He gave His life so that He could bring us back to Him and everything He’d given us. He knew who He’d created us to be, who we truly are and His love for US was unconditional. It was bigger than our failures. Ultimately, we didn’t understand the consequences of our actions, but He did. He loved us and he wanted us back, so he did something about it.

The best thing about this story is that it STILL doesn’t end there. Jesus didn’t stay in the grave. Three days later, He rose from the dead, defeated death itself, triumphant and bringing us back to our purpose of being His children that He loved, who know Him and love Him and each other. Without this part, the rest would be irrelevant. But it’s true, and there were many witnesses. There is more evidence than you think. He’s alive! This is the King we follow. This is why we celebrate! This is why it is good news! The King we follow isn’t dead. He was so powerful, that He defeated death itself and brought us home.

This is what Easter is about. A powerful, good God who loved us so fiercely that He gave His own life to spare ours and made a way back to Him. This is what Christians mean when they say they believe they are going to heaven. Heaven is where God is. We are going to where God is because we believe in Jesus and what He did, and we are forever thankful. We are not saved because we are trying to be good enough but because HE is good enough. We are not saved by our own efforts, but by His. It is a gift He has freely given us amongst all the rest He gives. But we haven’t just got heaven in the future, we can have life to the full with Him today! He is with us now.

4. What now?

We have the chance to go back to our original purpose and live a life of being loved by and loving God if we simply believe and choose Him. To turn away from whatever we were following and follow Him. It’s a decision that only we can make.

If we do decide to choose this, when we understand who Jesus is and what He’s done, a feeling of gratefulness comes over us where we want to serve Him and give Him our whole life. And Jesus says the way we can do this is simply by loving others and telling them about Him. That is His heart. For us to know and love Him, love others and help them know Him too. I mentioned this in ‘The Fourth Secret to Happiness,’ but loving others fills us with a joy that nothing else can really give. It is a source of happiness and purpose for sure!

I made that decision for myself officially when I was 14 years old, and I have never once looked back. Life is still full of ups and downs but I have Jesus who loves me unconditionally, who protects me like He always has and always will. He has given me life to the absolute full. I may not know where the ride of life may take me, but I know who I’m riding with. It’s not even just me, but all my friends and family who have also accepted Him. We can see all the good things He has given for us and all He continues to give to us and we will be forever thankful! There are no words to express how amazing He is. There is no greater love. And we will always remember. That is who my God is, and this is what Easter is really about.

If you would like to give your life to God, you only need to pray. You simply have to say that you know you’ve messed up and are sorry, but that you believe Jesus, the Son of God, came down to die in your place and rose again. Pray that you want to give your life to follow Him from now on. That’s it. If you do decide this, please feel free to contact me. I will be very glad to chat to you about it.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but shall have eternal life.

John 3:16

“If you have something you love but aren’t doing it because of what others might think, just do it… All that matters is that you go for it and do what you love without the weight of others opinions.” tiffanyjadedotblog

This quote from my last post “It’s Time For The Deep End,” makes sense for a lot of people, but for others, that’s not the problem. It’s not always other’s opinions that stop us from doing what we love. Sometimes the problem is the fact that we don’t have a flipping clue what we love! Sometimes it’s our own opinions.

I have an amazing friend from church. She’s one of those friends that will do anything for you, will message you if it’s been a while and always gives you her full attention when you finally do get around to hanging out. She’s one of the good ones. I live right next to this beautiful park that she’d not been to before and we hadn’t caught up in some time so we decided to go for a walk.
As we were chatting, she mentioned how she was feeling really burnt out and exhausted. She said that her life just seemed to be going to work and then going home, never getting any “me” time.
I asked her if she ever did anything for herself, to which she said no.
So I said, “Right well you have to do something for you or of corse you’re going to feel burnt out!” I told her about my dancing and what that had done for me and followed it up with a question.
“What are you good at?” To that she replied, “I’m not good at anything.”

Unfortunately, my friend is not the first person who’s ever believed this about herself and most likely won’t be the last. I’ve heard a number of people say exactly the same statement. “I’m not good at anything.” Maybe it’s something that you’ve said, that you believe? There are lots of reasons why we think this. Why we don’t do what we love.
We don’t know where to start? We’re too scared? Too busy? That or we’re really not bothered about it at all? Or maybe it’s simply because life got in the way? It was just something we did in school and we’d forgotten about it. I don’t know if any of these reasons might be your reasons, but I want to chat through some of them…

“I don’t know what I’m good at.”
The first step is actually knowing what on earth you want to do in the first place! Sometimes the problem isn’t that you don’t want to be more adventurous. It’s not that you don’t want to take up a hobby again and run with it. It’s that you believe you don’t have anything to run with! It’s that you genuinely don’t know where to start! I have learnt that just telling people they’re good at something doesn’t quite cut it. I could have sat there till I was blue in the face trying to convince my friend that she was good at things, but she would have never believed it. For her, just figuring out what she was good at was daunting enough without then actually having to do it. I realised I had to change the question to “What do you enjoy?”
She sat there quietly for a bit then thinking, and suddenly a long list of dreams and past hobbies began to spring from her mouth. Cycling, netball, reading… She’d forgotten about all these things she used to love in school and hadn’t thought to try them again. Maybe sometimes the first step isn’t to figure out what you are good at. Maybe sometimes the first step is just to figure out what you enjoy.

“Fear of failure.”
Maybe you’ve given different things a go but after a few attempts you realise you’re not “very good.” Because of this, you assume that’s just not your thing and move on. Or maybe you haven’t even got as far as trying because you’re too scared you’ll look like an idiot… that you’ll find something else you can’t do. The truth is, you only get good at things when you try. And you only get better with practice. Look at athletes. They train hard for hours and hours every day, pushing themselves to crazy limits, changing their whole lifestyle in order to get to where they need to be. They’re not where they are just because they’re “really good.” It took time and persistence. No one is reallygood at anything when they first start, but after hard work and commitment – and messing up a whole lot of times – that is when you start to see progress, and all the hard work pay off. And like I said in my previous post, it doesn’t matter what other people think! They’re opinions should never get in the way of you doing what you love. If you mess up in front of people, who cares? Mistakes are nothing to be afraid of! Mistakes are the lessons we need to take in order to learn. Find out what works and what doesn’t? You live and learn. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing!

I learnt to ski for the first time ever last summer and decided to give the biggest slope at the Chill Factore a try. However, as I stood there 40 metres up high, I instantly regretted my decision. But there was only one way down.. and apparently that was crashing. As I dusted myself off at the bottom, I decided that if I didn’t go straight back up I would be afraid to try again. So I made myself go up again and on the way down I controlled it for a little longer before I crashed. And I kept going and going, learning as I went and slowly I got better until I pretty much made it down to the bottom upright!
There is a very old school, incredibly cheesy song called ‘Get up,’ by Superchick. But I have always loved the lyrics.

I’m  not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up  high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don’t try
I’m not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly
And I will spread these wings of mine

“I can’t be bothered.”
Sometimes you just can’t be bothered! When you’ve worked hard all day or you’re peopled out, all you want to do is get in your comfy clothes and slob out in front of the TV. The idea of going out and doing something else is exhausting and maybe even the worst suggestion anyone could ever make. Some people stay cooped up in their homes because it’s safer there. Some actually don’t like leaving the house. When I was younger, I did this a lot. People would sometimes invite me out and I would turn them down because all I’d rather be doing is watching different TV series I was hooked on. I didn’t have time for people and I didn’t have time for hobbies. And in the moment it seemed like I chose the better option. Way more relaxing and fun. But over time, those repetitive decisions took their toll on me. I found myself fairly friendless and the only thing I could say I was passionate about was TV. After being isolated and motionless for so long, it started to affect my perspective of myself and the world. I didn’t have any confidence and started to think quite negatively about everything and everyone, including myself. And I watched as other people thrived off doing what they loved whilst I just sat back and watched them. Luckily I snapped out of that as the years went on and got back into dancing and writing and seeing my friends. It took a lot of effort at first to battle that mind set of “I actually can’t be bothered!” But it was worth it because honestly, I feel so much better for it! I have confidence in myself and my abilities again and I feel a sense of achievement and purpose. I have things to work towards and get better at, I have ways to express myself and I have something for me! I feel like I get to be myself. I’m not isolated anymore so I’m not left alone with only my thoughts and opinions, but I get to share life with people around me. Your house is your home, but don’t ever let it be your prison. It is worth picking yourself up from your safe, comfy house to do something a little different – and at first uncomfortable – because it opens up a whole new way of living!

“I’m just too busy…Other people’s needs have got in the way.”
The biggest example – although not the only example – of this is parenting. We spend so much of our lives loving and caring for these little people and keeping them alive, making sure they’re happy and functioning properly, that any spare time – if there ever is any – is purely for recovery.
However, sacrifices of time aren’t just made with children. We can devote all of our time to love and support other family members, work colleagues, friends, partners, to meet their expectations and their needs.
They have dreams and talents and we want them to achieve every single one!
It is a massive privilege to watch people we love be happy and excel in their gifts and talents, supporting them and encouraging them every step of the way. I love that! Never stop doing that. But for some people, maybe they’ve been so busy making sure other people are happy, so supportive of other people and their dreams, that they forgot to do anything for themselves? They forgot to look after and enjoy their own dreams and talents. They’re too busy. There is absolutely no time for anything else extra, especially no “me time.” I’m not saying that carving out time is going to be an easy job, but to give yourself a chance to do something for yourself and stop yourself burning out, surely is worth a try?
Because as important as it is to support people we love doing what they love, there should definitely be a point at which we take some time to do what we love too, because we all have something to give, and each is as valuable as the rest.

I don’t know if any of these reasons ring true with you, but when it comes to the statement “I’m not good at anything,” I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it’s true for anyone. I believe that everyone has a talent or a gift, something that they are good at. The problem isn’t that they aren’t good at anything. Maybe instead, the problem is that people haven’t given enough time or chances to find out what it could be? Other people’s skills don’t disqualify ours. We all bring something different to the table!
This amazing analogy coming up sums it up perfectly.

The Human Body
The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body… If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body?  If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?
But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”
The Bible.

I love this! It is a beautiful picture that shows that no matter how different you are, we all have something to offer! We all have a purpose and something we are good at which makes the body – this world – work better as a whole! It wouldn’t work if we were all the same. Also, don’t underestimate the value of being good at listening! Good at advice, hosting, caring for people, serving others, being generous, etc! Although they may not be “hobbies” as such, they are actions that make a difference to people’s lives and are things that not everyone is naturally gifted at. If you’re good at it, run with it.

My friend that I mentioned at the start of this post went on to cycle in a race called ‘Coast to coast’ and raised a heck of a lot of money for a charity she’s passionate about.  On top of that, she’s just joined a netball team again which she loves. And it has been my pleasure to watch as joy, fun, achievement and purpose fills her life again.

It’s still January! It’s still a fresh slate, a brand new year full of possibilities and adventure. And I believe there are some people who are yet to unlock a whole new side of themselves they didn’t know existed, who have talents and dreams that they haven’t tapped into yet, which can only be discovered when they take a chance and experiment. If that is you, go out at find it! There’s still so much time! Go and find what you love and run with it!